Five Random Facts about My Relationship with Alarm Clocks that You Probably Never Cared to Know

1. My actual alarm clock has recently died and I'm being forced to use my travel alarm clock until I replace it.
1a. This lead to me slapping of said dead alarm clock in desperation while the travel clock goes off on the other side of the room.
1b. Twice. In a row.
1c. I nearly ripped it out of the wall before my brain caught up with my body.

2. I absolutely must have time to hit my snooze button.
2a. I currently have an hour and fifteen minutes worth of time to play with my snooze button.
2b. This annoys the shit out of my mom when she has a day off.
2c. (Sorry Mom)

3. My alarm clock is currently set to go off at 4:45 in the morning.
3a. I never thought there would come a day when my alarm clock would be set to go off at FOUR FORTY FIVE IN THE GODDAMN MORNING.

4. I always set my alarm clock fifteen minutes fast to compel me out of bed faster.
4a. It doesn't really work. It sometimes just confuses me.
4b. Because of this, I woke up last night at 11:30, about forty five minutes after I went to bed, bolted out of bed and down the stairs before I realized that I read my clock wrong and I wasn't late for work. It was still dark out for crying out loud.
4c. I can't even blame that on the cold medicine because I didn't take it until I was downstairs staring blearily at the cat who was wondering what the hell I was doing and since I was down there could I please feed her?

5. The travel alarm clock's alarm increases in speed and volume the longer you ignore it.
5a. Goddamn alarm clock.