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Thoughts from the intellectually lazy
Jan. 24th, 2007 09:24 pmI've been having a lot of revelations and/or "deep thoughts" (as deep as I get, which is, y'know, not that deep) while driving to and from work. Yesterday's revelation scared the living shit out of me and made me want to quit my job, lose twenty pounds, stuff fluff in my head and chase after multi-billionaire so that I would always have a secure future without the drudgery of dragging my ass to work everyday. That was yesterday. Today was far, far, *far* more shallow than that.
Today I decided that every car/truck/van/what-have-you needs to come with a with with a sign. Not just any sign, but one that can display various messages, some that you can input yourself and some that are mandatory. To my mind there are four that need to be mandatory on these car signs and they are as follows:
"NO today IS NOT a good day to die. Fuck off."
"Turn on your goddamn lights, dipshit."
"Turn signals make the world go round!"
and last but not least:
"I'm sorry."
The first one came to me the other day when, as I was sitting at a red light attempting to make a right onto Rt. 28 during the middle of rush hour on my way home (please remember that this road gets more than twice the amount of volume than it was built for), I did not leap out at the very chance the ass behind me thought I should take (because for those who don't remember, VA is a right turn on red state) and put myself at the "mercy" of on coming traffic and thus honked at me. At which point, I thought "I do not want to die a burning, fiery death," and then, very calmly I thought, raised my right hand and flicked him off. I made *sure* to keep my ass there until the light turned green.
The last one is a gimme because, yeah, we all do dipshit stuff for whatever reason (I'm tired/I had a shitty day/I can't be arsed to look to see if there's anyone in my blind spot/etc.) when we drive and sometimes, when we feel remorse for what we've done, we should be able to express it. Especially to those that we've wronged in the first place. (Can you tell I really needed something like that recently? Yeah, I thought so too.)
In other news, I finally had my appointment with a dermatologist (and holy SHIT Springfield's Kaiser building has TEN FLOORS?), and my diagnosis has upgraded from "This is bad," (my regular doctor's words) to "It's most likely an allergy." Well, damn, thank God it isn't lupus. That's what she pronounced to me after looking at my face for five seconds, barely sparing a glance at my hands and arms. 9_9 So my diagnosis is just "dermatitis" which is a mild way of saying "eczema." Joy of joys. I have the horrible sinking feeling that I'm allergic to the ferrets. After how much money I've dumped into them however ($300 just this past weekend) for their medical bills, I'm keeping them until they really find Ferret Nirvana, and no, I'm not talking about the cupboard with all of the Tupperware-like items in it.
By the way, some of you should expect calls from the DOD asking about me. Um, sorry I didn't tell you in advance?
Today I decided that every car/truck/van/what-have-you needs to come with a with with a sign. Not just any sign, but one that can display various messages, some that you can input yourself and some that are mandatory. To my mind there are four that need to be mandatory on these car signs and they are as follows:
"NO today IS NOT a good day to die. Fuck off."
"Turn on your goddamn lights, dipshit."
"Turn signals make the world go round!"
and last but not least:
"I'm sorry."
The first one came to me the other day when, as I was sitting at a red light attempting to make a right onto Rt. 28 during the middle of rush hour on my way home (please remember that this road gets more than twice the amount of volume than it was built for), I did not leap out at the very chance the ass behind me thought I should take (because for those who don't remember, VA is a right turn on red state) and put myself at the "mercy" of on coming traffic and thus honked at me. At which point, I thought "I do not want to die a burning, fiery death," and then, very calmly I thought, raised my right hand and flicked him off. I made *sure* to keep my ass there until the light turned green.
The last one is a gimme because, yeah, we all do dipshit stuff for whatever reason (I'm tired/I had a shitty day/I can't be arsed to look to see if there's anyone in my blind spot/etc.) when we drive and sometimes, when we feel remorse for what we've done, we should be able to express it. Especially to those that we've wronged in the first place. (Can you tell I really needed something like that recently? Yeah, I thought so too.)
In other news, I finally had my appointment with a dermatologist (and holy SHIT Springfield's Kaiser building has TEN FLOORS?), and my diagnosis has upgraded from "This is bad," (my regular doctor's words) to "It's most likely an allergy." Well, damn, thank God it isn't lupus. That's what she pronounced to me after looking at my face for five seconds, barely sparing a glance at my hands and arms. 9_9 So my diagnosis is just "dermatitis" which is a mild way of saying "eczema." Joy of joys. I have the horrible sinking feeling that I'm allergic to the ferrets. After how much money I've dumped into them however ($300 just this past weekend) for their medical bills, I'm keeping them until they really find Ferret Nirvana, and no, I'm not talking about the cupboard with all of the Tupperware-like items in it.
By the way, some of you should expect calls from the DOD asking about me. Um, sorry I didn't tell you in advance?
