(no subject)

I just came back from the oral examination from hell. Like, I know my speaking skills in Japanese is not worth shit, but still, it's hard that it gets thrown back in my face every term. Though I have to admit that I was rather proud of my reading ability and remembering kanji. However! I still feel like an absolute retard.

The thing of it was, I knew what she was asking, and I knew I could answer it. In English. I just could not, for the life of me, explain it back to her in Japanese. I would have been *fine* in English. I know, I know, not what she wants, right? It didn't help that the longer I would take to try to form a coherent sentence in Japanese, the more she would ask. Or she'd as a different question, so I'd try to answer that question, instead of the first, which would take awhile because I needed time to come up with a coherent sentence, and and AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH! So frustrating. It was all at the tip of my tongue, I just...couldn't get it out of my mouth.

For my written final, I think I'm going to write out everything in English as well as Japanese just so she *knows* that I'm not a total moron. That, while I may be unable to form coherent Japanese sentences (in a timely manner), I can at least *understand* them.

Thank GOD I'm taking it pass/fail next semester.

And screw the JET program.