![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Today while sitting in Modern Germany, I was accidently eavesdropping on a conversation behind me if only for the fact that the person speaking had a rather distinct (and I thought kind of annoying) voice. She was complaining to her friend that how Russ from Security and the Business department were giving her a run around where she was trying to not pay back her parking ticket (because she didn't know about it and it had doubled while she didn't know about it), and that they hadn't warned her. The only way that she had found out that she even had a parking ticket at all was that she had a hold on her business account and couldn't get to her transcript. While that is a rant for another time (why the hell wouldn't Security give at least one more notice on a parking ticket? I mean, sometimes you just don't get them! That's completely asinine), the rant that I wish to embark on here is about the amount of money she had to pay. It was only twenty dollars.
At first, when I realized that was the amount of money in question I wanted to say, "Hell, it's only a twenty! Just pay the damn thing and get on with your life! The excuse that you didn't know about the ticket won't hold up in a real court of law!" But something made me stay the giving of my opinion.
"It was only twenty dollars." It was only twenty dollars. There really is no only about it. I know that I throw money around like there is no tomorrow sometimes, but given my new situation, I won't have the luxury anymore. So it's not really "only" twenty dollars. Now, that type of sum to me is quite a bit of money, especially since I won't have any source of income until May at the earliest. THere are a gazillion things you could get with a twenty, and I'm not talking about just one item for twenty bucks. But a twenty goes a long way! Though I know if I asked I could get the money from my parents no questions asked and without paying it back, the idea that I used to just be able to pay it on my own without having to rely on my parents and now would only be able to pay that kind of money back with a lot of hemming and hawing and stalling on my part is rather frightening.
But it's not like I don't want to pay my parents back for damaging the truck, I really do. I completely agree with my mother: I did it so I should pay for it. It is a principle that I grew up with, and one I comepletely agree in. And I'm very thankful that my parents are going to allow me to break the amount into payments. It just sucks that I'm beginning to realize that I can't spend my (mostly) hard earned money on things I want but to pay for a mistake I made. And while, on principle, I agree that I should pay back for the damages, the selfish part of me grits it's teeth and whispers this fuckin' sucks, man.
It used to be that I wasn't careful about money, I was really horrible at saving it up for things I wanted. Always there would be something that I wanted more at the moment...I became the embodiment of "instant gratification." When I went to college, I quickly leanred that I had to save my money, I coudn't spend it willy nilly about the place. I thought I was being good, but even that doesn't compare to the dead halt that I've been forced to come to. It's so weird not being able to spend what little cash I have "just in case there's an emergency or something." Bah.
Like I said, why does it always come down to money?
And no, that's not the explanation for what I said two nigts ago...
At first, when I realized that was the amount of money in question I wanted to say, "Hell, it's only a twenty! Just pay the damn thing and get on with your life! The excuse that you didn't know about the ticket won't hold up in a real court of law!" But something made me stay the giving of my opinion.
"It was only twenty dollars." It was only twenty dollars. There really is no only about it. I know that I throw money around like there is no tomorrow sometimes, but given my new situation, I won't have the luxury anymore. So it's not really "only" twenty dollars. Now, that type of sum to me is quite a bit of money, especially since I won't have any source of income until May at the earliest. THere are a gazillion things you could get with a twenty, and I'm not talking about just one item for twenty bucks. But a twenty goes a long way! Though I know if I asked I could get the money from my parents no questions asked and without paying it back, the idea that I used to just be able to pay it on my own without having to rely on my parents and now would only be able to pay that kind of money back with a lot of hemming and hawing and stalling on my part is rather frightening.
But it's not like I don't want to pay my parents back for damaging the truck, I really do. I completely agree with my mother: I did it so I should pay for it. It is a principle that I grew up with, and one I comepletely agree in. And I'm very thankful that my parents are going to allow me to break the amount into payments. It just sucks that I'm beginning to realize that I can't spend my (mostly) hard earned money on things I want but to pay for a mistake I made. And while, on principle, I agree that I should pay back for the damages, the selfish part of me grits it's teeth and whispers this fuckin' sucks, man.
It used to be that I wasn't careful about money, I was really horrible at saving it up for things I wanted. Always there would be something that I wanted more at the moment...I became the embodiment of "instant gratification." When I went to college, I quickly leanred that I had to save my money, I coudn't spend it willy nilly about the place. I thought I was being good, but even that doesn't compare to the dead halt that I've been forced to come to. It's so weird not being able to spend what little cash I have "just in case there's an emergency or something." Bah.
Like I said, why does it always come down to money?
And no, that's not the explanation for what I said two nigts ago...
