ikyrian: HiNaBN's {...} (Default)
[personal profile] ikyrian
Vincent has liver cancer. He went in for a liver biopsy and the vet found cancer, not to mention quite a bit of blood in his abdomen). I left work to go visit him and when I got there I found him...

Well. Perky, for lack of a better word. When he saw me he immediately lifted his head and presented it for scritches. I held him for about 30 minutes and got to watch his stitches seep (something that had happened last time, so I wasn't horribly concerned). He didn't try to move much but he did jerk every time a dog barked. I put him down a couple of times and the second time he went to the litter box. It took a lot of effort, but he eventually managed to get all the way in and use it. Then he pulled himself out and crawled into the sack they had to sleep in. At that point, I decided it was time to go, and I'll be seeing the vet at about 4:30 to discuss his options.

To be honest, when I got there, I thought I'd either come to a) a dead ferret or b) something like what Baby did after his surgery (or the time he went into diabetic shock). I was quite surprised to see him awake and aware, especially considering the vet wasn't sure he was even going to wake up.

I was fully prepared to go ahead and let him go, but now I'm not so sure. If he has the possibility of a decent quality of life for the next however long, I want him to have it. If not, well. That's what we'll be discussing at 4:30. :/

Date: 2010-07-20 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cancerouselflvr.livejournal.com
Oh no Heather, not again. I'm glad Vincent was alert...I hope the discussion went as well as could be expected.

Date: 2010-07-20 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ikyrian.livejournal.com
Well, it was less a "discussion" and more of a "take him home and make him comfortable for as long as he has left." Which is what I did - now it's just that awful waiting period for the inevitable.

The thing is, I've known he's had liver issues for almost six months. And the vets and I have been working to combat it all this time. The "liver cancer" thing was such a smack to the face because they never even mentioned the possibility. Just called it "primary liver disease." And while I can't say I was honestly thinking that he was going to live to see his 6th year, I was hopeful.

I was hopeful goddammit, that's what I told my mom, that I was hopeful. The same thing I said when Baby diagnosed with diabetes. Apparently I'm an optimist running around in a pessimist's clothing.

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